In 2024, Mira came to Blooming Mind when she was five months pregnant.
At thirty-seven, she was expecting her second child.
Instead of experiencing the pregnancy with ease, she was living through severe nausea, high blood pressure, persistent back pain and intense anxiety.
Her medical team was also concerned that the fetus was not growing as expected.
The possibility of premature delivery had been discussed.
The family had also been prepared for the possibility that the baby might require NICU support and an incubator after birth.
Alongside the medical uncertainty, Mira was carrying another history—one she had never fully allowed herself to grieve.
The Losses That Had Never Been Mourned
Mira had married in 2012 and welcomed her first child, a daughter, in 2014.
In 2015 and again in 2017, she underwent two pregnancy terminations.
The decisions had been shaped by personal circumstances and pressures present at the time.
She had continued with life after each termination.
But continuing was not the same as grieving.
Beneath the surface, she carried sorrow, guilt and unanswered questions.
She felt that because the pregnancies had been terminated through a decision, she had no right to mourn them as losses.
She had made a decision with her mind, but her heart had never been given space to complete the goodbye.
During the current pregnancy, this unresolved emotional history appeared to return with renewed intensity.
The fear was not only about what might happen medically.
It was also connected with whether she deserved to receive this pregnancy safely and fully.
Why Family Constellations
Looking Beyond the Immediate Crisis
A friend who had experienced her own fertility-related journey introduced Mira to Family Constellations.
Mira approached the work with both hope and hesitation.
She was not seeking an alternative to medical care.
Her gynaecological monitoring, scans, medication and medical advice continued throughout the pregnancy.
The purpose of the Constellation work was different.
It was to explore whether unresolved grief, guilt and relationships within the wider family system were contributing to the emotional and embodied strain she was carrying.
Pregnancy occurs within a body, but it also occurs within a relationship, a family history and an emotional system. Medical care attends to the biological pregnancy. Systemic therapeutic work may help attend to what the mother is carrying emotionally and relationally.
The First Constellation
In the first session, representatives were chosen for Mira, the two earlier pregnancies, the unborn baby and relevant members of the family system.
The Constellation did not begin by deciding what the outcome should be.
It began by observing the positions, distance, orientation and responses that emerged within the setup.
The representatives for the earlier pregnancies stood at a distance.
Mira experienced a strong wave of grief as she looked towards them.
What she had tried to manage privately now had a place within the therapeutic space.
She was invited to acknowledge both pregnancies—not as mistakes to erase, but as lives and losses that had belonged to her story.
Acknowledging What Had Been Lost
The Words She Had Never Allowed Herself to Say
Mira turned towards the representatives of the earlier pregnancies.
Through tears, she acknowledged their place in her life.
“I see you. I am deeply sorry. I let you go with love.”
These words did not change the past.
They changed Mira’s relationship with the past.
She no longer had to hold the losses only through silence, self-judgement and guilt.
Within the Constellation, the representative for the unborn baby, who had previously remained at a distance, moved closer.
Within the logic of the Constellation, this movement was experienced as a shift towards greater connection between Mira and the pregnancy she was now carrying.
From Guilt Towards Grief
One of the most important movements in Mira’s process was the distinction between guilt and grief.
Guilt had kept her looking backwards in punishment.
Grief allowed her to acknowledge love, loss and limitation.
She began to consider that making a difficult decision did not mean she had forfeited the right to mourn.
She also recognised a possibility that had never been conscious before:
“Perhaps I have been afraid to receive this pregnancy fully.”
because somewhere within her“A healthy pregnancy felt like something I no longer deserved.”
This was not presented as a medical explanation for the pregnancy complications.
It was the emotional truth that emerged for Mira within the therapeutic work.
A Series of Constellations, Not a Single Moment
Mira’s healing did not rest on one dramatic session.
She continued through a series of Family Constellation sessions.
Across the work, different layers were explored:
Unacknowledged Loss
Giving the earlier pregnancies a recognised place in her story.
Guilt and Self-Punishment
Exploring the belief that she no longer deserved ease or joy.
Connection With the Unborn Baby
Strengthening her capacity to receive the current pregnancy.
Family-System Burdens
Recognising emotional loyalties and burdens that were not hers alone.
Self-Forgiveness
Moving from punishment towards compassion and responsibility.
Permission to Live
Allowing the present pregnancy to belong to the present rather than remain bound to the past.
The work was emotionally demanding.
It was also deeply relieving.
What Began Changing in Mira
In the weeks following the Constellation work, Mira’s condition changed markedly.
Her blood pressure began to stabilise.
Her back pain reduced.
The relentless emotional pressure she had been carrying began to soften.
She felt more connected to the pregnancy.
Moments of joy and anticipation began returning.
She also became less preoccupied with the belief that the current pregnancy would inevitably repeat an earlier loss.
Fear, guilt and emotional contraction.
Acknowledgement, grief and systemic reordering.
Greater steadiness, connection and embodied relief.
The Medical Journey Continued
Renewed Fetal Growth
Mira remained under regular medical supervision.
Her doctors continued monitoring her blood pressure, physical symptoms and the baby’s development.
Following the Constellation work and the improvement in Mira’s health, subsequent monitoring showed renewed fetal growth.
The pregnancy, which had previously appeared medically uncertain, began progressing more favourably.
The change was significant enough to surprise the medical team that had been preparing the family for a much more difficult outcome.
A Birth Beyond Earlier Expectations
Mira’s baby was born in February 2025.
Contrary to the earlier concern, the baby was not born prematurely.
NICU admission was not required.
The baby did not require an incubator.
Mira welcomed a healthy baby boy.
The Outcome
The outcome did not erase the fear, grief or uncertainty Mira had lived through.
It allowed those experiences to become part of a larger story—one that included healing, renewed connection and life moving forward.
Eighteen Months Later
The Child Today
At the time of this update, Mira’s son is almost eighteen months old.
He is healthy and developing well.
The family has moved beyond the period in which every scan, symptom and medical conversation carried the fear of premature birth or neonatal intensive care.
The child’s health today does not make the earlier medical concerns unreal.
It shows that the pregnancy ultimately unfolded differently from what had first been feared.
What This Case Taught Me as a Facilitator
This case reinforced several truths that have emerged repeatedly in my work.
Pregnancy Is Not Emotionally Separate From History
Earlier losses, terminations, grief and guilt may remain active even when they have never been openly spoken about.
Exclusion Can Create Strain
What is denied a place in the family story may continue to seek recognition through emotion, relationship or the body.
Grief Is Different From Punishment
Mourning allows love and loss to be acknowledged. Guilt often keeps the person trapped in self-punishment.
The Mother’s Inner State Matters
Emotional regulation, relational safety and relief from chronic guilt can change how a mother experiences her body and pregnancy.
Medical and Systemic Care Need Not Compete
Obstetric treatment and deeper emotional work can support different dimensions of the same pregnancy journey.
A Constellation Does Not Force an Outcome
It creates a space in which what has been excluded, carried or left unresolved may become visible and find a different place.
Making Space for Every Life in the Family System
Family Constellations does not ask a woman to remain permanently bound to grief.
It asks that what existed be acknowledged.
A pregnancy that ended can still have a place in the heart and family history.
Giving it a place does not prevent life from continuing.
It may help life continue with less guilt, secrecy and internal division.
Healing did not require Mira to erase the pregnancies that ended. It required her to honour them without remaining trapped beside them.
What This Case Does—and Does Not—Mean
This is one real therapeutic case.
It does not mean that Family Constellations guarantees fetal growth, prevents premature birth or removes the need for medical treatment.
It does not mean that every pregnancy complication is caused by grief, guilt or family-system dynamics.
It does show what unfolded for this particular woman:
- unresolved losses became visible and were acknowledged;
- guilt began transforming into grief and self-forgiveness;
- her physical and emotional condition improved markedly;
- subsequent monitoring showed renewed fetal growth;
- the pregnancy continued beyond earlier expectations;
- the baby was born without premature delivery, NICU admission or incubator care;
- the child is now almost eighteen months old and healthy.
The sequence was real.
The change was significant.
And for the family, the Constellation work was experienced as a pivotal part of the journey.
A Space for Systemic Healing
Sometimes healing begins when what was silenced is finally given a place.
Grief without punishment.
Remembrance without remaining trapped.
Life continuing with greater wholeness.
Blooming Mind offers Family Constellations, psychotherapy and integrative healing support in Pune and online across India.
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